Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Of Bigger Fish to Fry

Usually I tend to be an upbeat, rather perky sort-of-gal: it normally takes alot to get me down, and I bounce back quickly in most cases.  But in recent weeks there seems to be an abundance of irritability, lack-of-focus, indecisiveness, and yes...........dare I say it?  Sadness.  It seems to be subtly waiting around each corner of the house, and sitting on the edge of each new activity I perform.  And as I do on rare occasions, I am once again guilty of attempting to fill my days with much more activity than one woman can possibly handle -- in an effort to not feel what it is that is happening............The fact that my son has only two days left of high school.

All of this and more struck me (again) as I worked in my drawing room this evening, lettering calligraphy on the senior band and choir plaques for our area high school -- (incidentally, the most action my drawing room has seen in the past couple of weeks!)  Don't misunderstand me.  I know I should be happy; and I am happy.   I am proud of my son, and excited and scared for him simultaneouslyBut.......and now this is all about me here, folks............I must have my moment to say that I'm not ready for this yet.  How is it possible that nearly eighteen and one half years speeds by in the blink of an eye?  UMMMM, I'd like a rewind..........please.

Regardless of whether I am ready or not however, the next couple of weeks will pass with warp speed through awards night, commencement, numerous open houses, etc.  Since my last blog post, I naively have moved on to paint the rest of the house.  The planning for my next drawing, another equine piece, is completed -- and I'm anxious to begin as soon as the events at hand allow. Dora the fish sang, "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming".  I will enjoy the next two to three weeks with a smile on my face, a lump in my throat, and extra kleenex in my bag...........because as some of you know, I am a crier.  

Thanks for stopping in.   


  1. Oh, dear Lynda, as you know I've been there with one (daughter) and my son will be there next year and another the year after that. There is something about a mother/son relationship though. Your son has completed one chapter in his life and will move on to the next but YOU are ALWAYS in each of those chapters and if I may say his supporting actress!
    I have realized that with my oldest, they may want their independence but it's always nice to come home to that warm and secure place they call home (even at 50 I look forward to going home).
    So pat yourself on the back and say "Mom, job well done!" Trust me, you're job will continue in a good way now.....supporting him and loving him and since he's a boy, his favorite food waiting for him when he comes home on weekends!
    You know my door is always open should you need a shoulder to cry on!

  2. That is a great picture of your son! Congratulations.
    Lynda and Dianna, you said it all very eloquently. I believe that being a Mom is the hardest job. You give everything to your children for 18+ years, and then you have to let go. It is never easy! I was also a "band parent" when my kids were in high school and it was a big part of our lives. Treasure those memories! Lynda: your upbeat personality, friends, and art will serve you well during this transition.

  3. ((((Lynda))) I know from where you come, and I feel for you.

    Is it the soul of the Artist that allows us to feel this way or is it simply the Mom? Perhaps it's a double whammy we endure.

    We lucked out so far, in the previous 4 graduations at our home, we always knew there was still a house full of up-and-comers working twords that all important goal, the door to adulthood. But we had many more years of shuttling to cheer practice, spelling bees, watching all those little league baseball games.. which made the pain of accepting each of the HUGE milestone of graduation bearable.

    We watch them grow, we encourage them to walk and talk, guide them because they needed us. All of those little rewinds, each a treasure. Think of it not as an end but as the beginning of a new chapter for the both of you!

    *passes Lynda a spanking clean hankie for the tears*

    However, next year our youngest will be a Senior, and I too, am a cryer. Would you mind sending that hankie back when you no longer need it, because I'm sure next year I'll be needing it too!

  4. Wonderful post and wonderful picture of your son! Painting the rest of your house!? LOL Well, if it helps you cope... :-) Sadness about all of this is quite normal of course so cry when you need to and laugh when you can. You'll make it through! And yes as Dora says, keep swimming!!!

  5. Wellll.......thanks so much gals. The card my son gave me for Mother's Day was very appropriate in more ways than one: it sang the disco hit, "I Will Survive". hahahahaha. (Okay, I admit it: I still think I am a disco queen.)

    Teresa, I just think Dora has the BEST outlook on life; don't you? I'm going to have to watch that movie again........

    And would be my pleasure. ;)

  6. I know how you're feeling. We wish for the success of our children, but when it comes time for them to leave and pursue that success, it is hard. It's almost as if we are grieving the end of one relationship. I suppose, we must trust that the new relationship, adult to adult, will be just as rewarding.

  7. Ah Lynda...I have been through the same thing twice. The first was especially hard. I had a long adjustment time where I didn't know what to do with myself. But, with it brought more time for me to spend on my art. I had to 'find' myself again! Sounds so cliche, but I did. After spending so many years going to school activities, competitions, ballgames, and staying up with her girlfriends, shopping, and just enjoying that close was hard, but now I definitely enjoy all of the quiet time that I can have if I want it! But the visits home are always nice too. So, try to enjoy the busy activities now and you will adjust and enjoy the next phase!
    Having many good cries help too! Hugs!

  8. Oh my goodness Terry......I just realized that you and I first met when I wasn't much older than my son is now! SCARY. Your own kids were quite young if I recall.....

    Well said, and I know you are right; so hard for me to see it right now, but it will grow into what it is to be. And it will be wonderful. Thanks for your insight.

  9. I'm sorry I can't offer words of wisdom here as I've never had a nest to empty but reading through your friends replies you won't want for help in that department. Be so proud and happy and cry a's good for you. And remember the swallows that leave the barn always return, though I think your swallow might return sooner and oftener :))

  10. What a cool picture of your son!! And what a great description of the heart of a mother. Those of us who have already experienced what you are facing right now are here to pass along a box kleenex to you.

    You've loved, trained, inspired and gave him a great environment to grow in. Now it's time to see what he can do with it.

    And hey, just think, you're going to have more free time on your hands.....

  11. My kids are still little (the girl is 7 and the boy 5) but I think I can understand a bit of what you must be going through emotionally. Life doesn't stop changing, we can never settle down emotionally on something. But you seem to be handling all this so nicely. It's moving you on the inside, but you're moving where you want to be on the outside. I hope I'll have your strength and disposition when all this come my way.
    On the other hand, you must be so proud of your son and of yourself! Congratulations on your great success as a mom!
    From another crier :)

  12. Been there Lynda. I think the girls take it harder than we guys but it left a great sadness for me when my two girls graduated. It was something else when they became married. Life does go on and gets even more exciting with grand kids and the accomplishments of both children and grand children. We are so proud of all. My oldest grand daughter graduatd last week with a Doctorate in Physical Therapy. It has been a long haul for her and we are so proud of what she has accomplished. Your best days in life are just ahead.

  13. What a wonderful post, Lynda. You really are very good at writing and conveying what's going on in your heart and life. I'm so glad you've put this latest chapter into your blog.

  14. Lynda,I just wanted to say how very impressed and in awed @ all ur art...You have a great tallent, I remembered that you always had a special art ability to your personality. You are a great artist, and I look foward to seeing more of your work, and hopfully catching up with one anothers life...God bless you Lynda...

  15. Thanks Kit, and so nice to hear from you! Incidentally, my hard drive developed major issues around the time you left your comment, and I was not able to publish it or respond to it from my husband's ipad (I tried over and over!). Given November's circumstances (mom), I have just recently gotten my hard drive we will catch up soon!